December

十二月了,今天是21号,再多几天就是圣诞节,下个星期五就是2010的最后一天.

我就这样懒散了一年,明年是时候转变一下自己的生活环境!

突然好想念我的BII,他要工作所以陪不到我,刚才因为某些事情搞到我误会了他,就感觉像是以前一样,他欺骗我,我对他的信心很少了.我知道是自己过度敏感.他真的为我改变了很多.

这个圣诞节会和他一起庆祝,他答应我会买香水给我,但是要等到明年才能拿到!我想自己买,但是却很想在他手上拿到!那种开心感是真的很开心.

currently

I love what currently im having im getting.
Means? Love and life.

Love,
I love my bii so much, recently he treat me realy so good as before he totally change his attitude his behaviour. Mybe i should treat him more good make him more happy and let him get more happiness. I love him much. This few day, he always accompanied me, even just a normaly lifestyle and habits, he like to tam me make me laugh when he maked the funny face. But usualy is i call him , wei, tam me lah. Feel like so forces he do everything to me. am feel very sweet and happy. I hope we can continue this habits and treat each other happy always.

Life,
Will nothing special, just tea, chat. Nothing else can mention. Just to be continue.

开心加失望

昨天真的很得空,放工回到家已经是两点多了.看到我的电话很多个misscall，原来是阿祥。打回去给他的时候他竟然没接。三点多，冲凉看戏准备休息，他回电给我，我们说了很多很好笑的话题，都是关于她，所以我就一直笑笑笑，笑到睡不着！终于都逼自己睡个午觉，六点多起身就打给他告诉他我肚子饿了，但是他和simon在MIDVALLEY吃饭所以会迟点来载我。拖拖下，竟然拖到九点，我真的不想出去了，因为累了，他就死命叫我出，最后就在门口外听电话等他来载我，上了车，我竟然收到‘他’的来电，我当场开心到说不出话，现在回想起真的很意外，我们大概已有一个月没有见面了，我真的好想他。结果的就是我没有合他出到。失望的那种心情很低落直到现在·····································

昨晚就去了我家附近的pizzahut delivery centre叫了pizza，然后下一场就转去midvalley。回到家十二多，然后和他谈电话谈到三点多，还记得昨晚真的谈了很多东西，笑话真的很多，我就真的笑到肚子很痛。他去了jb工作，他答应明天回来就立刻找我，其实他为我做了很多东西，他就是体贴温柔的一个好男生，我们出去那么多次，他载了我很多次，就是没有计较没有占我便宜！一个月多了，我们就认识了只有那一个月多，就是觉得很多东西你对我很老实很坦白，他就是随传随到，什么都迁就我，结论的就是，他给不到我要的东西就是感觉！我自己真的很矛盾，毕竟我们认识了不是很久，毕竟我的心里还有‘他’。我们已经几天没有见面没有联络了，不知道现在的他好吗？不知道他今天开始两份工作会不会累？不知道他没有我了日子会不会开心？老实说，我真的累下去了。

Love & Cherish

i never regret what im doing for you.

A new month on december, i'd promise myself i'll do all the thing better then last time.

We lost the time the chance the fate,

but we found back what we gonna cover within our relation.

ILY, my little bii.

Tuesday night

Belated post. I just get the chance and upload few topic over here.

Actually you guys look im so busy, but honest to you guys,

am not busy and feeling boring everyday.

So many friends was asked me before,

your life look so great and have a lot of fun.

Erm, i should use the word describe,

(human in life just chase sex, fun and food.)

Tuesday that night we appeared in mont kiara.

I was counting how many times we'll goin there in a week?

so that night first location- ah xiang and me seat at dr cafe and wait daph, yap & sim.

second round was change to coffee bean.

and i met up alien and ah hong.

We realy didn't met since few months ago.

Unfortunate, i didn't get the fate met ah tank gor.

All day long

A sweet saturday & sunday night.

This few day i was get many fun and happy, forget someone and take back some happy moment.
Sarturday he was fetched me out of dinner, then second round we were changed to coffee bean @ mont kiara tea with apple daphne and simon. Ah yap was ffk us, haiz, couldn't blame him, cuz friday night was enter to his house open a little party night. Around 1something arrived home, i couldn't believe that last few day both always back in da earlier and get deep rest. ILV.

Sunday,
Actually saturday night that day he already tried to date me out on sunday afternoon, and i was bet with him i won't out on sunday cuz i need accompanied my family and be a guai luii. And i asked him, if i didn't goin out will you treat me a meal, and he said, normally you words also can't believe, cuz you do gek thing and you said gek thing is totally different. haha, so he was agree and said yes, if you didn't out, i treat you meal. Ultimate, i was won the game, so last night he chat with me just inside the phone, and i was deicded coffee bean @ breakfast.

Monday,
I just woken up around 7something, and i keep waiting his call. Cuz last night he already date me out of tea, erm, i should understand, almost one day half he didn't met me. And am so hungry right now, i waiting him fetch me out of dinner.

Stay tuned.

Schedule on last few day

If i never forgot everyting,

saturday night,
we all plannin out in da earlier, middle something happen and make me damn annoyed, so i decided stayin at home rest better, 10pm something, he already arrived my home and am so forcess to hang out, so the last decision will appear at mont kiara @ coffee bean, my favourite and a nice scenic, thanks you guys much.

Sunday night,
Afternoon suddenly felt so hungry and tried to date out some people to hang out, actually last week we already planned to goin sepang beach, but was date a girl she change the plan to pj dinner, she ffk me again and again, few times almost she din't make the promise until success, damn dissapointed to her. So night we went to mid valley movie ''the next three day''. Rating for this movie 3star, some boring, but ultimate was brilliant to get the stories. Midnight, no supper for us, cuz i'd promise him will let him back in da early and rest, he fucking thanks me. hahaha, a stupid again.

Monday,
This day i din't catch any purpose want to hang out, tea with my friend, i just wanna stayin at home and rest cuz i've obviously my throat feel so depressing. He call me around 8something, and we chat alomost half an hour, am felt very happy cuz we never chat the topic as so humour, thanks him. Around 9something, i was tired and felt so sleepy and get the chance early sleep.

Tuesday,
Today, i realy din't plan want go where for fun, my cousin was date me just now, she give me a vouncher worth RM 400 for japenese meal. So tonight we'll goin subang jaya to having an enrich dinner. Am felling happy on today.

不值得

离开你的第四天,也是我在这里为你写的最后一篇.

今天想了很多东西,多天来的梦和希望我想是该放下了.承受不了的痛不代表我以后还会痛,我目前保持不好的状况,不代表我以后没有别的希望.今天拿起了它,头脑很清醒的在想,我想你想找你,还值得吗?我问了自己很多遍,问了又问想了又想,值得吗?我的答案,不值得!就算以后我们在路上相遇，我们只能挥挥手，点点头，笑笑下就走！好朋友。

说会昨天,突然很想去soul out吃饭，on the road的时候，心里有一种特别的感觉，因为昨晚走的路去的地方都留下了很多我和他的回忆，在车了，静静地，拿起它，看着前面，这些路，我们曾走过！到了soul out门口，有种不想走进去的感觉，在外听到有人唱生日歌，顿时我回想起你生日那天，我没有去到。我又想，如果那天我有在场，环境会不会像昨晚一样的热闹，有我的在，你会不会开心点？这些问题在心里一直问自己，但是我不想知道那个答案，因为，感觉给我知道，有没有我的出现，你也一样开心。晚餐来了，daphne一直逗我笑逗我讲话，我告诉她，你们两个聊着先，我有点不想说话，我只想想东西。看着他们两个静了下，自己却觉得不好意思。最后还是勉强自己去笑。

我们在一起的时间不算长，认识也不够一年。我们之间的关系只能在这里挂上句号！一切不能再回头望，只能当成美好的回忆。我，不能答应自己偶尔不会想起你，但是最好就是逼自己不要，觉得今天的自己开心了轻松了。代会儿去看戏，还是喝杯茶聊天？我还不知道要怎样。

完毕！

Hartamas @ soul out

Laat night we were planned in the earlier has been goin out dinner at hartamas @ soul out.

Thanks to my driver mr xiang, and good buddy daphne.

Thanks to my driver again, cuz he was accompanied me in da whole night.

Just few picture takin on last night.

my meal, fish & chip.
couple in da night. i love this, cuz my smile look so sweet

My conclusion in last night is : was not so enjoyable and unhappy. Felt i was bring moody along into a great night.

Thank mr xiang treat me an enrich meal.

往前走,往前看

离开你的第二天,

（其实生病了很久很多天，我都没有去看医生，就一直和朋友去喝酒。）

那张是在临出门前拍的。sunway @ alive。

这几天都有一直想起你,想起我们吵闹开心点点滴滴生活中的一分一秒.最近的我们真的很多问题,每次电话响起我都很想是你,在闷得时候却很想打给你.最后我都没有做到.因为我想我们两个需要时间去冷静,我不想再烦你再打扰你了.我想了很久，我们的关系是不是该到此为止就结束。现在的我很痛恨酸但是却不比你之前忍受我的那种痛。我承认我就是自私的那类人！我该放走你还回你自由和让你减轻一个重大的包袱。我真的很想想明白一下你的感受，而你有没有明白过我的感受？


离开你的第三天。

今天没有工作，昨晚也特地玩到很夜才回家，药，我没有吃了，因为吃了很累很想睡觉。昨晚他问我你要回家吗，我说不要因为我不想在家乱想东西，我只好跟他去吃宵夜，‘它’陪了我一晚，一根一根地。昨晚真的忍不住诉苦了很多东西，发泄了又怎样？我还是觉得不是你一个人的错，发泄了我还是一样那么的犯贱去想你。。。

今早六点多被信息吵醒了，H先生信息我叫我起身工作，我的妈呀。我offday啊，开始又失眠了，完全不能睡，一直死命在咳嗽，喉咙痛到我。。。下午了，起身拿起‘它’，让我冷静了很多，顿时，真的很想打电话找他，想打给他的那种感觉就像吸了白粉那种隐一样，很想但我却一直逼自己不要。最后我没有做到！

上星期六

他去了马六甲，也是我们冷战的第一天开始。很不开心地情况下去了zouk@ phuture。我真的意像不到我能进，那晚不是玩的很开心。我闷闷的坐在椅子上拿起我的杯听着音乐享受那里的环境。

Thursday night

Last night dinner with my dearest cousin.

doctor reminded me again and again, no fried allow.

But i till order crab and kept ate on last night.

(am very apologize to my throat.)
this is the cutie girl eating.

You again!

离开你的第一天



我不知道我昨晚做的决定是可以维持到多久,我很怕我会再找你.

我的心很痛很酸,泪水一直在眼眶里流出,我知道,我该离开你了.

你真的变了,变得可以把每次的错都推在我身上,你对我真的没有感觉,我领悟到同时也感觉到.你说你还爱我想我,一切你都只是在敷衍我.昨晚我吃了药我真的不想那么快起身而你要去陪你朋友丢下我,昨晚我真的很想你陪我安慰我照顾我.但最后你没有做到反而说我发你脾气.昨晚在车我听到你和你朋友说的话,我的心很酸很痛.


我痛了哭了又怎样,辛苦的还是自己.你没错,是我不好.

委屈

很久都没有写blog了.是时候要更新一下.

我觉得自己很委屈,这一刻这一分钟,我做着不是我自己想要做的东西,心很不舒服,真的没有试过做一切自己不想但要逼自己去做的东西.心真的过意不去!
答应了自己,事情到了成功我地步我就会很潇洒地去解决我不想做的东西!

是不是一个曾经伤害过你的人,你就不会再接受?
是不是一个曾经再三再四的说谎欺骗你你就不会再相信?
老实说,我会这样.

最近很喜欢和daphne 出,喝茶也好,喝酒也好,我都回把自己不开心的东西都忘掉.还记得昨天我们一起去喝茶的时候,她说她前男友是个怎样的人怎样对待他,我听了,蛮开心,因为她的口气动作和表情都很好笑.真的不能不佩服她.上了车,各自回家了,我告诉他,开心了后又要回到烦恼,我好讨厌那种感觉!!我和他在车里的话题很少很少.也许就是知道了某些事情我不是很想让他误会.

我很烦很烦.真的很想出trip去relax下.

Confusing

I don't know what im thinking what im doing what im expecting??

I'd been selected from you since xx ago. Everytime when we argue i'll very angry say some words to hurt you. You know, i realy scared and lost you. Im so confuse what relation we're. I know you very care me. But i know you definitely change your attitude. I know you do everything for me is for my own good. When you care me i just know that you too over nervous on me. When you distress on me i feel very uncomfortable, the feel very weird cuz you never ask me never concern to me again. Honestly, i scare and lose you. Everything you do for me is memorable in my life, but sometimes you're misundertsand my situation. What happen between you and me? I realy never change to you, my attitude, my behaviour. Im so sorry to you cuz always make you upset, annoy me until we break again again and again.

''Stop contact'' this word i'd promise you before and i'll stop to say, but everytime when you make me unsatisfice or argue i'll just so easy to speak out. You know, i very concern to you. ILY and i very need you in my life. At here, i promise you again i'll comfirmly make promise i won't talk it again. I'll change all m attitude until you pass me. I've confidence i can do it until better then last time. Just a moment and i need you always beside me. That's a promise.

And you, please don't always disconnect when we talking in the phone. You know why everytime when i angry you also love to do that instead make me more fire and annoy (i feel that am as a slut). Hate you this attitude. Bii, can you change for me due?

A word can describe and very important to our life ''trust''. I hope you can trust me and if anything happen you're feel trouble please tell me and don't deceive me, you understand that give a ''important people'' lie when everytime what you say to me i also curiosity and lost confidence to your words. We need do more of conversation to understand both. Understand?

Ultimately, you sick, and im not beside on you to care you, but i know your grandma will care you details & carefully better then me, so i din't worry about you. That day i sick, flu, sore throat, fever, right now turn to you. Maybe you said that right, is my virues infection to you. So-sorry, my little ''thin bii''. (nobody tell me i also know you many shortcomings, because your immunity low, you lose vitamin B & E.) right?ngam mou leh. This few day i'll care you inside message, but you'd to promise to me you need staying at home make a due rest!!!

Bii, can you forgive me? *(actually this word is you need to ask me. cuz you always blame me.)

Congratz to my lil sis

Satuday night

Last satuday we were planned out. First station we plan chill of Library @ Mid valley.
Second round was change location cuz we wanna club night, so simon drove to sunway. Unfortunate, alive was full, so we just plannin' the simple decision to EURO STAR. (caution: suck club) That night not get a lot of fun & happy.

So-sorry cuz not much of picture inside that night.

011110

新的一天新的一个月份,好像什么东西都是重新开始.

人就是那么的任性那么的放纵那么的贪心,生活沉闷了,需要一些新鲜感来满足自己,让自己的生活过的开心点,压力少点, 每一样东西或是事件都想完美无瑕.
我生活在一个现实的社会上,一切都习惯.

自由究竟谁可以给我?
家人还是朋友?还是你?
老实说,单身的生活真的很自在,但是有时寂寞却没人知道.
我,单身了应该有8个月半,我和他,其实还有联系.
在这*个月,吵吵闹闹,甚至粗暴点也试过.
我今天领悟到了,我的生活里依然还有你的存在.
我好想你可以开始学习放下我,我好想我们大家都能过回自己的生活,我好想你对我的醋意不要那么深,我好想一切一切一点一滴你都能为我改变.你真的不是想象中那么的完美,但是你对我的紧张已经胜过很多的东西与问题.我们的关系可以不要再那么的complicated吗?

我只想要我的自由,我不喜欢吵闹的日子几乎一个星期里一定有一次发生在我们身上.

Pavilion @ Spaggio

Heyy guys, here some update and upload.

Last thursday night we were appeared at pavilion @ spaggio get a drink.

So-sorry for fedderick because we were late met up him.He almost wait all of us probably 3an hours by alone. We so rush to met him, sorry

(cuz simon and i went to kepong @ wangsa permai picked up Daphne.)

`Here some picture showing....

Daphne & I

Party starting, camwhore first this two character.

simon & fedderick

(both busy discussion bussiness.)

fedderick, he look so bussiness man

fedderick & daphne (auto effect)

flash light.

vicky, daphne, fedderick

with a british girl camwhore, maybe both get a deep fate,

she just staying near my house. She study at UCSI~

i love this picture.

dudes= fedderick, simon, sohk

daphne, a good smile.

rating for this picture 5star.

(All of us.)

We all get the chance & times meet up,

we get a lot of fun, happy in that night.

To be continue, saturday night.

Celebrated Halloween in sunway giza mall @ movida with brunch.

Stay tuned, photo will upload soon.